Survival without bread
by luvinUwrite
Summary: He ruined my life. I swore I'd never forgive him... How could I be falling for him? Suck at summary's, just read. First story, so go easy. T for later chapters. R&R!
1. How it changed intro

**First Fanfiction... Takes place eight years after war. I know now that Katniss didn't agree to kids for 15 years (THANKS Ellenka) but i'm changing that. I absolutely LOOOVE Gale sooo... It pisses me tht he doesnt get her... Criticism is wanted! R&R!**

Spring had sprung and along with it came many wild turkeys. Unusual for the woods beyond district 12, but either way, what a way to indulge! I had gone out with my almost-two year old son, Mason, while Peeta and Sara, our daughter, baked rolls, and cakes. Today was Sara's fourth birthday. Mason, who was hanging over my shoulder, now sat on a log, messing one of my empty quivers. The one on my back was full. I asked him to take out mommy's bow from the hole in the log beneath him. He put it in my hands. I asked him to stay right there and dig a big hole. I had no use of it, but it would keep him occupied if he thought I needed it.

I walked deeper into the woods, shooting a squirrel within minutes to put in the hole. It will make him feel better if there's something to burry. I put the animal in my game bag and continued walking until I heard a turkey speak. I treaded silently until one was in view. I strung my sharpest arrow, pulled it back, and let it go with ease. The turkey fell silently, lucky for me- maybe I could manage one other. Two should be enough.  
>I strung my bow over my shoulder and climbed a tree. Around the tree wrapped a grape vine. I lay on a branch, lazily dropping grapes into my mouth. When another group of turkeys waddled into view, I sat up and readied my bow, shooting a last bird. I jumped down and stuffed it into my game bag with the squirrel and first turkey. I walked back to the log and found Mason continuously digging. Smiling I sat cross- legged next to him, and dug out the squirrel. I put it in his hands and whispered, "Cover this, but not entirely. A wild dog might come across and sniff it. We'd be doing him a great favor." I kissed his cheek and stood to stow my bow.<p>

"Mada," he said excitedly. I watched him as he ran to a bush and picked a berry. He put it in his mouth and put on a guilty face. I smiled and walked to him. The berry was from a black berry bush. I pulled out a smaller bag from my hunting jacket pocket and asked him to help me fill it. He put in three and pushed it into my pocket. That was all he wanted, so I grabbed him by the arm and swung him onto my back. He giggled. I ran back to the fence, pausing to listen for a buzz. Silence. I helped him scoot under and followed.  
>He bounced around the nearest corner. I heard a rock being thrown. I trusted him to walk home. He knew the way, everybody knew him, and it was a small town. I took a detour to Gale's old house. It was currently the home to a district thirteen girl who had fallen in love with Gale's oldest brother. He was killed in war what felt like long ago, but she held the house together for his sake. I knocked on the door. No answer. I looked through the window. She was probably at work. I turned and walked away. I had done this many times before, most of them to talk to Hazelle, who had been a wreck ever since Gale left for Two. She was recently moved to the mayors house to be cared for. No visitors.<br>I walked through the hob, past the old bakery, and into "victor's village". The fourth house had the lights on. The third did too. Haymitch was in the third. Why he wasn't first and we were second, I have no idea. Peeta used to live in five, but since we married, he moved into my home. As I passed three, I heard plates clatter. He was probably drunk. Good old Haymitch. Four smelled great. I walked the steps and pushed the door. It was warm. I closed the door, and slid into the kitchen. A letter was sitting on a loaf of bread. Peeta had written it in his distinct hand-writing. It read,  
>" <strong>Katniss,<br>I give you this to not eat, but watch. A form of trust. It has been poisoned, you see. If you don't trust me, you'll eat it. But I know you do. So believe me when I say, I love you with all my heart. I love my kids. I love the way we fit. Sadly, I am being forced to write this. If I could, I'd tell you in person. But I can't. If you trust me, you won't go into the bedroom. It'll scar you. If someone makes you, you will die before you do. But that would go against the trust of the bread now wouldn't it. So you have a choice, bread or bedroom? I love you. Trust me.  
>Forever yours,<strong>

_Peeta Mellark"_  
>Confusing as it was- on top of the fact that is was shakily written- I figured it was a surprise. I believed the bread was poisoned. But he knew I would, so that I would choose the bedroom. I stepped out of the kitchen and looked up the stairs. Looked normal to me. I heard Mason ("Mada") from the other room. Stepping towards the stairs, I heard a door knock. Answering it to Haymitch, who said in a slurred voice, " Don't do it ma! They'll getcha anyway." I rolled my eyes and led him to the sitting room. Back to the stairs. Up the stairs. Outside the bedroom was another letter, shakier than the first,<br>" **Remember when we you told Ceaser Flickerman that your favorite part of me was my face? If you do, It'll be even more painful. If you're reading this you don't trust me. Forget everything if you're going to go inside. Our entire past. Even that cold day when I gave you bread. All of it. I love you. Goodbye.**"  
>Once again it was un-mistakenly his writing. I opened the door. Our dresser was emptied and re-stuffed, over flowing with messy clothing. On the bed lied Peeta, face-down. His legs were patterned with lines of open flesh. His shirt was gone and his back ripped. His left arm was sticking out at an odd angle. I tried to forget. I didn't listen to him. Why didn't I listen to him? "Peeta?" I said, "Peeta, who did this?" No response. I ran to the bed and turned him over. Where his face should be were bloody remains and gruesome flesh. The first tear fell. His beautiful face, my Peeta, was gone. Ripped from me. At the foot of the bed was another note. Not Peeta this time<br>"_Love,  
><em>_ The Capitol_"

I stared in disbelief. The capitol had been gone for five years. Why were they still after me?  
><em>"P.S. Happy Birthday"<em>  
>Sara. They took her. Must of. I tore downstairs to get Mason. He was gone and so was Haymitch. I ransprinted to Hazelle's home. By the time I arrived, I was drenched in sweat and tears. I knocked. No answer. I pushed. The girl from 13 was in a chair by the fire.  
>"Hello," I said.<br>"I remember you."  
>"The capitol, they've taken my daughter and killed my husband."<br>"Is that so?"  
>"Someone's taken my son too."<br>"Yes. You're probably not a fit mother. He is probably with the mayor. He'll probably be fine."  
>"I need him back."<br>"That cannot be done."  
>"Look, girl. I have absolutely no idea what's going on. I know you do. I know that you're from 13. I know the capitol did this. I know my girl is taken and my boy is gone. I WANT HIM BACK."<br>"YOU'RE THE REASON GALE IS IN 4! YOU'RE THE REASON HAZEL IS EMPTY!" She stood.  
>"GALE KILLED MY ONE REASON FOR LIVING! HE KILLED MY SISTER! HE KILLED HIS OWN SISTER! Accident or not, he gave no pity to Hazel or me. TO HELL WITH HIM! HOW DARE YOU BLAME THIS ON ME! I LOVE HIM BUT I LOVE PEETA MORE! I LOVE MY BOY! GIVE HIM BACK!" I gasped with sobs. My throat burned. It went black and I fell into emptiness.<p>

**Soooooo? GOOD? Hope so! More to come!**


	2. Reunited at last

**SOOOORRRYYY for the shorty... BUSY life here! Postively the happiest person ever because of the support... YAY! **

I awoke tangled in blankets. Sun was streaming onto my face. I reached to the side, searching for Peeta's warmth only to remember. Emptiness hit me like a rock. Ow. I sat up searching for anything familiar. I was lying on a fold out couch in the middle of a white and blue room with yellow furniture. To the side was a yellow kitchen and a white hallway which had three white doors. One opened. Gale.  
>We have a complicated past, and I swore I'd hate him forever. Why I was slightly relieved to see him was surprising, but I ignored it.<p>

"Why are _you_ here?" I asked, my voice dripping with acid.  
>"You're in <em>my<em> house," He replied, equally disgusted but looking slightly hurt.  
>So this was the rich district two? I threw the blankets off myself and stood. I was wearing one of Gale's (I guess) black, button up shirts and my underwear. I didn't mind but wondered what happened to my hunting jacket, jeans, and flannel I was wearing in twelve. I walked to him and glared up to his eyes, ready to spit if he did anything at all that pissed me off. He looked back down cautiously.<br>"I-" I started, but was then strangled with sobs and collapsed into him. It felt good to have someone to comfort me. I was gonna ask why the hell he'd dragged me to two and how long I'd been out but I lost myself in sadness. He hesitated, startled, but his strong arms were soon wrapped around me and were holding me tightly.  
>"I'm s-sorry" I barely whispered. I shook with cries, glad to have his warmth. My head rested on his chest and his on top of mine, his cheek on my hair. He stroked my back gently, soothingly, like my mother did when I was young. We stood like that for what felt like hours, me crying and him holding me. I wished we were in the woods and I wasn't crying. I wished we were still best friends. I wished the hunger games never happened to me. But we all wish things.<br>Just to be clear, this comfort scene DID NOT mean I forgave him. He practically killed me. I was just to depressed to deal with anything else and needed a break. That's all.

Eventually, he picked me up and lied me down on the fold-out couch. He tried to leave to the kitchen, but I held tightly to his shirt so he lied down next to me. I fell asleep, still shaking, soaking Gale and the blankets with tears.

**More reviews are wanted! Thanks SOOOOO much for the help!  
><strong>**GALE LOVERS UNITE 3333! :)**


	3. Unforgiven

**HIII! Next chapter! It's longer, yes, so PLEASE R&R! Thanks for the followers! **

The next morning, Gale's arms were wrapped around me. I shuddered. Carefully, I picked up his arms and put them on the bed next to him. His breath was steady and slow. His eyes fluttered but remained closed. I stood and shifted the shirt I was wearing so that it covered at least half of my body. I made my way soundlessly to the kitchen, where I opened the ice-box. Inside were fruit, cow's milk, cream, and many rabbit and dear meets. He must still hunt. I pulled the fruit out and closed the door. An apple. It was waxy.  
>I knew his job must have paid well, other-wise he wouldn't have moved to two, but honestly, market fruit? Even the mayor of twelve wouldn't be able to afford it. And he was the richest from my district. And actual cow's milk? And cream? I bit into the apple and flavor flooded into my mouth. It was like sugar- crunchy sugar. I walked out of the kitchen and down the hall. I opened the first door.<br>It was a linen closet, full of sheets, towels, and blankets. He needed and entire room for that? I would be able to sleep in there. I closed that door and moved onto the second.

It was a bathroom, complete with a white bath tub and shower. I closed the door and opening the third. Inside was a large, beautiful room that contained a fluffy white bed, a large television, a dark, wooden dresser, and another white door. Walking over to that, I examined the dresser. Four drawers. I opened the first. Gale's under-garments. Opened the second. Gale's shirts. Third, pants. Fourth, socks and ties. I shut them all softly.  
>I opened the door to find another closet, but this one was full of suits. There was a mirror on the inside of the door. I walked back to the fold out couch. Gale was standing, ripping the sheets off and folding the mattress back in.<p>

"Why am I here?" I asked caustically.  
>"Well, good-moorrrniing suuuunshiine!" He said sarcastically.<br>"I'm serious."  
>"The mayor felt you were reckless and un-safe, and was going to request you being locked up. He said you needed a guardian and your mother was known only too well for being distant so he called me. He told me to help you reach mental stability," he said matter-o-factly, stifling a laugh. I socked him in the arm. Good-ol' Katniss can take a joke.<br>"What about my boy?"  
>"The mayor and Hazelle are caring for him. You can have him if you are 'mentally stable' for three months, my confirmation, and then agree to find a second guardian to care for him with. Then you will once more have custody."<br>I sat at a bar-chair that was at the side of the kitchen. Dear god. I hadn't even freaked out that much, as far as I remembered.  
>"How long had I been out?"<br>"Two weeks. They continuously drugged you. Sometimes you woke up and started freaking out on the train. The medicals told me it was funny."  
>I felt the urge to punch him again. He bothered me so much.<br>"Katniss, you know I'm sorry…"  
>"You can't think that'll be enough," I said defensively. I stood and walked up to his, standing under his face, close enough to smell his breath. He looked down at me sadly. "Gale, I can't do that. You abandoned Hazelle. Your own mother! You killed my sister and expect me to forgive you right after the man you've been trying to steal me from was murdered. You know I loved him! I-"<p>

Then his lips fell against mine moving fiercely. He put one hand on my back and held the other to my cheek, stroking it with his thumb. I put my hands on his shoulders trying to push him away but he held me against him firmly. He had obviously done this before. Even after the long years apart, his toned body was still familiar to me. I almost caved to his apologies. But then the thought of Prim and Mason and Sara fell into my mind and I managed to turn my head away. I ran to the bathroom and slammed the door, leaning against it, sobbing. As much as I wanted to forgive him, I couldn't.

It felt like I had been in there for hours. I was no longer crying but was hiding away, not wanting to show my emotions to anyone anymore. I knew Gale was still in the building- I could smell cooking. But that wouldn't make me come out. I didn't want to see his face. I didn't want to be faced again with apologies and decisions. So after the time I had spent sitting, I tried the window. Locked. From the outside. Looking out, there wasn't a house for miles.  
>There was a knock on the door.<br>"Catnip, please come out. I'm sorry for kissing you."  
>Yet another apology. I had no reply.<br>"Katniss come on. We can go hunting. You me and our bows. I made sure they brought yours from 12." Silence. "Katniss please- what else do you want me to do? Anything I've ever done to upset you, I'm sorry. But you have to think about how much you hurt me when you chose him. I'm not saying that Prim's death was purposeful, but however much it killed you inside, however much you suffered from that, it hurt me just the same to lose you."  
>I was crying again. I heard his footsteps walk away.<br>"Food's on the table!" He yelled, then I heard the door slam. My door opened and I ventured to the kitchen, drinking in the smell. He had cooked lamb in a mint leaf sauce. There was yellow rice in one bowl and fresh black berries in another. I ate it all- fast. Then I sunk into his couch and clicked on the television.  
>In a long while, the door opened and Gale tripped in. I stood and helped him up. He didn't smell unlike Haymitch- in other words, he was wasted. I helped him to his bed and gave his some bread. He ate it and rolled off the mattress. I helped him back into it while he rambled on about his past decisions. Then, among the mumbling and slurs, I heard three words. I walked out of the room and sat on the couch, the television still on but sounding for no one. I began to cry. He had said, after everything we had gone through, those three words every girl wishes to hear. He said, "I love you."<p> 


End file.
